i would pay a lot of money for a complete list of everyone who’s ever had a crush on me
someone added a photo of you
am I doing it right
I’d never, ever hurt a lady but I’d be happy to punch a feminist.
It’d bring me great joy.
I’m 6’2 and weigh 180lbs
ready when you are
Or if you’d like to have some more options….
and have 9 years of combined martial arts training and 3 years of being a Line Backer in football.
Just in case you are looking for variety.
what about a lady and a feminist. warning, combatives certified soldier.
"The holidays are so great - all the time to spend with family and get out of the house!"
I promise one day you will all realize how flip frackin’ majestic you are and you won’t be able to hold it back.
the dog days are over, the cat days are beginning
Relatives: *Insert awkward question about personal life*
you dont like the word breast??? ok we’re having chicken boobs for dinner
Someone stuck a plunger on the back of a chicken FOR SCIENCE.
How do I get that job? Why was that career path never laid out for me when I was in middle school?
All bow to Her Highness the Bird Princess
"Why are you so dark all the time?"
Therapist: “You said you were doing fine but you lied…”
WHEN SOMEONE U LIKE TEXTS BACK REALLY FAST
Mom: “Life would be a whole lot easier if you would just pretend to be normal”